Selfish
by Mini-MoonStar
Summary: How can you leave after you've just healed someone's heart? rnOneshot Kaoru and Kenshin
1. Chapter One

I hope whoever reads this likes it....

I sat stiffly against a large sakura tree with my sword leaning against my shoulder. The sun was just beginning to set behind the western mountains, painting the skies in a majestic hue whilst I viewed the dojo from the grassy hill.

A bitter smile spread across my face; you had loved these kinds of things. Always squealing in delight whenever viewing them. My fiery red bangs shadowed my eyes as a collection of memories hit me, hard. I cannot lie and say they were all happy.

No, some of them were very painful.

I suddenly looked up and stared into the horizon, my eyes glazed over with sorrowful tears. I didn't bother to try and hide any emotions as there was no one there during my silent brooding.

Emptiness, is what I feel the most; and pain, you had hurt me a great deal. A single tear escaped and trickled down my scarred cheek.

I fingered the cross shaped scar, tracing the outline. You hurt us all. Every night, I hear at least one of them trying to muffle their tears. No one can seem to leave the dojo. No one wants to leave, scared that you'd come back when they were away. They can't seem to understand.

They all walk around as if waiting to wake up from a dream.

They can't seem to accept reality right now. But still, the silent tears leak through their facade so I know deep down they know the truth. They know you're gone.

A close my eyes and try to remember you. Your bright blue eyes, always shining with innocence and love. Your long raven hair, fluttering in the wind and catching the sunlight. Your porcelain face, always soft and warm. Your full pink lips, pouting when you didn't get your way.

I smile when I remember the time I accidentally ripped your favorite ribbon. You were so mad you chased me around the dojo beating me senseless with your bokken. My head was very sore that night but the pain was well worth it when you came into my room and apologized with a hug.

You smelled so sweet. Like jasmine mixed with your own unique scent. I was most reluctant to let you go when you pulled away; blushing I might add. You were just so innocent, and naive. It always made my heart ache whenever you were unhappy.

I think that was my weakness, my feelings for you. You were the light that always shined through the darkness whenever I got lost. You were the warmth I felt in my soul whenever I grew cold in loss of reality. You were my savior when there was a time I truly felt there was nothing to live for. You were my angel, my love, my everything.

Tears had long since broken through my exterior and ran down freely. It was dark now as the sun had concluded its journey behind the mountains. It was a warm night, but I felt so cold. Cold with the truth that always seemed to accompany life. I clutched the hilt of my sword tightly and drew it out in one swift motion. I began to attack an invisible opponent. Cutting through the air as if meaning to slice the very world in half.

'How could you just leave me like that?' I made a sloppy arc.

'How could you just abandon me after what you did?' I leaped into the air with a clumsy swing.

'I had never asked you to pick up my broken pieces.' My landing was off by seconds and I ended up on my back.

'I never asked you to mend them back together with your gentle touch; and yet you did. And yet, you left.'

I slowly got back up and looked around for my sword. My breath caught in my throat as I located its position. Stabbed into the ground in front of a single wooden cross, it gleamed an unearthly glow under the moonlight. I walked over and yanked it out of the ground.

It had become quiet after I had shouted out to the world. Silent tears began to make themselves known again. I brushed them back impatiently.

This wasn't supposed to have happened. It was all a big mistake. How could you have been so stupid. You really were too naive for your own good. But that's what I had loved about you. That's what I will always love you for.

I sighed and looked up at the celestial bodies that mocked me with their very presence. A shooting star streaked by. I chuckled. I couldn't help but grasp the irony that seized my body.

I finally understood. I finally realized the situation. You were selfish. You were the most selfish person I had ever met. Selfish for stealing my heart and not letting me return the favor. Selfish for allowing me to love again and then leaving.

How do you expect my to survive on my own? How do you expect me to get up to my feet again when you've left me nothing to stand on. Then again, I guess you had never thought of it that way. Because you were selfish. Selfish for letting me know you loved me, but never letting me do the same.

With a heavy heart, I kissed the cross while in my mind, I cursed it with all my heart. I turned to leave all the while thinking of the most selfish being that had now left this world. Selfish for having healed my wounded past. Selfish for having held my hand in the present. Selfish for having promised me a loving future...

I descended the hill but not before I reread the familiar words on the marker...

_Kamiya Kaoru_

_1878-1898 _

_Homicide_

_Beloved friend and mentor. A loved one to us all. _

As I reached the entrance to the dojo, I smiled at the heavens once more.

"Rest in peace, Kaoru. I'll see you again, someday. And when I do... I won't let you be selfish a second time."

I hope everyone who reads this likes it. Well, if you don't give me a review as to why you didn't like it. Anyways, I have a question for everyone out there. Whenever I save any updated changes, the spaces seem to get crammed together. It's really annoying and a hassle to try and fix it only to have it squished again.


	2. Chapter

**Author's Note**

You know, these things always bugged me.

I'd get an Author Alert! in my mail and would get all excited cause I thought one of my many favorite authors had updated one of their great stories.

**But NO!**

It was an Author's Note apologizing for not updating quickly (thisis totally ironic).

(sighs)

Anyways, this Author's Note is to let you guys know that there is a revised version of this story in the Yu Yu Hakusho section.

Same author (ME!) and same title (Selfish).

Enjoy! Mini-MoonStar

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HA! Fooled you didn't I?

Love,

Always,

Mini-MoonStar


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